


All I Ever Wanted

by RamblingWithFantasy



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Cake sharing a flat, Cake strong friendship, Cashton is the voice of truth, Christmas Eve, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Presents, Enemies to Lovers, Feelings, Library is a great place, M/M, Muke af, Muke were once friends but argued and split, Unexpected Mornings, Uni AU, good mornings, no protection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-17
Updated: 2015-12-17
Packaged: 2018-05-07 06:25:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5446505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RamblingWithFantasy/pseuds/RamblingWithFantasy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Why are you here?"</p><p>"You and your friends decided to spend Christmas night in that pub. Call it good luck" Michael stares at the ground. Luke's questions are quickly turning him vulnerable.</p><p>"How long have you?"</p><p>"A couple of hours. Too heartbroken to get home safe and sound."</p><p>"Noooo - Luke whines loudly - How long have you?"</p><p>Michael looks up and meets Luke's dull blue eyes. And it clicks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All I Ever Wanted

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I hope you'll like this new long os, the main idea was given me by a dear friend of mine. Thank you, I'm so grateful for it. Enjoy :)

"I fucking hate you, asshole!" Luke shouts desperately at the top of his lungs in the middle of the corridor. His cheeks are flaming a deep red with anger and his hands are balled up into tight, white-knuckled fists. Let's call it a day already.

In the meanwhile a flood of students keep walking and passing by him, looking at him just as if he was a barmy psychopath freshly fled from asylum. He's not a psychopath, obviously, but his arch enemy is going to make him become if he doesn't stop teasing him soon.

It's been like this for years now, but it feels like ages. They are used to bump into each other every now and then in the corridors of university, glare intensely at each other for what seems an eternity and then the third world war breaks out. Insults, mean words, bad jokes, threats and such stuff start flying everywhere in the place where they are, which can be anywhere, making people nearby turn around with curiosity and witness another of their violent fights. Once or twice a week, more precisely. As weird as it sounds, they have something to say any time they meet. They don't ever seem to run out of mean words. To the students' eyes their fights look like an entertaining tv show to watch with popcorns in one hand and pepsi in the other. Like a movie, more exactly. They have fun and take advantage of it, not having to pay a single penny.

"Sure as hell you hate me, 'cause you love it. You can't do anything else when it's all about me. You can't live without my presence around you, Hemmings" his enemy shouts back as fiercely as Luke did, thinking he's won this fight. He's glaring daggers at Luke, but the blondie proudly holds his gaze without blinking once. He's so angry at him right now he swears to God he'd do anything to shut his enemy's mouth up and make him swallow his own words with remorse.

"In your wildest dreams, Clifford. You could've gone hell and I'd be celebrating sipping champagne for a month. See how much I care about your stupid useless presence around me" Luke spits with rage. He's 100% done with the shit Clifford's been throwing at him unreasonably. He's got things to do and people to see and be happy with. Can't afford to waste any more time pointlessly because of the guy he hates so passionately.

"In my wildest dreams you are sucking me off, such a cocky filthy slut you are" Clifford replies smirking, crossing his pale arms over his chest. He's leaning back on the wall with ankles crossed, a couple of close friends standing by his side. They all look so fiery and bold until they get in trouble and suddenly turn into scared and lost puppies.

Right now Luke's absolutely disposed to go hell personally and be extremely happy about it just to have the privilege of bringing Clifford down there and letting him die atrociously among the burning flames of the Devil himself. He craves it more than anything else, though he's aware he'd go to jail if he killed Clifford. He's too young to be a murderer anyway.

"I'm glad you think so, because the only person who unfortunately gives you more attention than necessary is me. It'd be a shame if no one took care of your poor, sick ego. I'm afraid you'll end up alone and not loved at all" Luke trails sarcastically, and he's never been more satisfied with his comebacks.

"You fucking wh-"

Clifford is interrupted by a loud noise from outside. Luke fixes his gaze on Clifford and greets him silently, smirking wider than ever and turning his whole body towards the entrance doors, slowly approaching them. He doesn't care about the noise, too eager to go home.

"I'm not done with you yet, Hemmings!" Clifford shouts for the last time. His friends left him alone, as Luke predicted. It's quite pathetic to say it all.

"But I am with you for today" Luke murmurs to himself rather than his enemy, not facing him at all and proceeding towards the exit while texting one of his best friends. His blood pressure may have gone to stars because of that prick.

"You aren't leaving me like this!" Michael screams exasperated, balling his hands into fists and his knuckles turning whiter than his skin complexion. Luke is too far to hear him properly; Clifford's words are just the misspoken ones of a drunk man to his ears. A feeble bla bla that dies somewhere unheard before it can reach Luke.

Luke is almost running down over the marble steps that separate the big wooden doors of the building from the ground when his eyes catch a blurred frame of two too well-known guys shamelessly snogging each other's face off. Perfect, it's what Luke needs after coming to blows with Clifford. They never change.

"You two never change, do you?" Luke asks rhetorically, not bothering to oh so lovely bother his friends. He stops dead in his tracks and crosses his arms over his chest fake annoyed, waiting for one of the boys to turn around and scold him. It's not what happens. Well, at least half of it.

"It's good to see you too, Luke. How come you're being so nice to us today? Did you get laid by any chance?" Calum double questions ironically while turning to properly face Luke, whose amused facial expression speaks for itself. Calum slowly takes a step back and nestles his whole upper body into Ashton's, who protectively wraps his arms around it to keep his boyfriend safe from dangers. Which, they don't even know.

"You know, I could be way nicer if you just answered the texts I've written you instead of snogging Ash as if no tomorrow was promised" Luke replies calmly, but he's laughing inside. He likes teasing the two when he's given the chance.

"Well, I haven't seen him in days. It seems fair to give him all of the attentions he deserves, am I wrong?" Calum retorts while looking fondly at Ashton, who's looking back at Calum just as fondly.

"Oh, don't you even dare lie to me Cal. Do you think I'm deaf from both ears? Do you think I don't hear Ashton sneaking in your room through the window you constantly keep leaving half open for him at 2 am in the morning, like you two did two nights ago? Come on, go on telling me for how long you haven't seen him" the blondie snaps, and it's merely out of fun.

"Gotcha" Ashton whispers quietly to Calum's left ear in defeat, his cheeks blushing slightly pink due to embarrassment. He instinctively tightens his arms around Calum more securely.

"I..." Calum stutters, trying to justify his actions with a very good excuse. In vain, because Luke is not quite listening to him anymore. His eyes subtly follow his arch enemy, Michael Clifford, crossing the road right in front of him and making his blood boil fervently in his veins.

"What an empty-minded prick. Such a jerk..." Luke silently swears, his mind being clouded by all the awful, ugly words and insults Michael had been throwing at him since the day he decided to hate his guts for no logical explainable reason.

"Duh, I knew for sure, took it for granted that Michael was involved! When is he not?" Calum whines like a grumpy kid, grumbling noisily. Ashton caresses his boyfriend's elbow gently and sighs heavily. He's been told in every detail about Luke and Michael's problematic relationship. He still can't deal with it honestly.

"We should have seen it coming" Ashton adds automatically with a displeased look on his face, while nuzzling his nose into Calum's collarbone. They're so sickeningly in love, Luke observes, it's almost getting gross. Public displays of affection have never been Luke's forte anyway.

Luke huffs and eye-rolls at the same time, fishing in the front pocket of his jeans to get the keys of his and Calum's ten-minutes-by-foot-away cozy flat. He just wants to go as far as he can from Clifford and lay on his bed, switching his brain off for a while. It's always Michael's fault, everything he does is so damn wrong. Everything he says is more wrong than anything else. His presence is a never ending bother and Luke wants to punch him right in the face and send him to-

"Calm down, bad boy. There's time to send Clifford to hospital, Luke. Just don't be too harsh" Calum speaks Luke's thoughts as if he's been reading directly from them.

"Shall we head to your flat? That's also a bit mine since Luke stated it so clearly. I crave Baileys so much!" Ashton exclaims excitedly. He looks down to Calum with lust-filled eyes and receives a quick nod of approval from him.

Luke slightly opens his mouth in shock. He can't believe they have made it again right in front him, that thing with their eyes.

"It's not even three in the afternoon and you two want to have sex already? You really suck, my friends" Luke lets out in a breath. He's seriously opting for moving in another flat nearby the uni and giving his bedroom to Ashton, who won't need it for too many obvious reasons anyways.

"I'm sure I said 'Baileys', not sex" Ashton replies, but his unsteady voice betrays him completely.

"Yeah, of course you did. Pardon, let me get this straight: you'd like to lick Baileys off of Calum's d-"

"Oookay ladies, it's come the time to go home all together and spend a very, very lovely afternoon with a cup of hot Baileys and cream in our hands, waiting for a cold, early night to take over us mercilessly" Calum interrupts Luke abruptly, dragging out the 'o' for a couple of seconds. He turns around on his spot and kisses Ashton on the cheek before disentangling himself and swinging an arm around Luke's shoulder.

"We need to talk about Clifford. He's literally ruining your life. Ashton and I are quite tired of seeing you so angry and upset every damn time you exit that building. So, you're gonna spill anything about what happened today, yesterday and the day before it until you get back to kindergarten memories, almost" Calum proceeds, and he's never been more willing to solve the situation Luke's in.

"Why do you always have to exaggerate things? We started bitching-"

"In mid-summer, three years ago. Nothing new about it" Calum finishes Luke's sentence for him while stretching out the free arm to take Ashton's hand in his. His boyfriend gladly takes and holds it tightly, keeping silent company to the other two till they all enter the flat.

The flat is quite small but very cozy, so that's all that matters. They quickly get rid of the heavy winter coats they were warmly tucked into, tossing them on the sofa, and head to the kitchen to get what they need. Which basically means a bottle of Baileys, whipped cream and three glasses. They pour a good amount of liquor in each glass, spray a lot of cream on the top making it wobbly and take seats comfortably around the table.

"I'm all ears" Calum says solemnly, but Luke can't bring himself to find any solemnity in what he's going to bring to mind. He was sure he was never ever going to dig up those old memories from the past, yet he's tied to them somehow. He stares at the transparent glass full of deliciousness to the brim and begins telling his story.

"There's nothing funny or interesting about our first argument, just saying. I just spilled a whole cup of hot milk and chocolate on his hoodie because he was around the corner and I was in a terrible hurry and didn't see him properly. I looked down to value the damage and my chocolate was gone. Like, vanished. I didn't even have time to wonder why my cup was empty that Michael started yelling at me and he immediately became a rambling mess, frantically chewing his tongue like a gum, I really couldn't string a meaningful sentence out of his mouth. All I remember is that he shouted a loud 'whore' in front of everyone and that I replied back afterwards. The headmaster, who was unfortunately strolling around the school at that right time, divided and scolded us a couple of minutes later, since we both had thrown ourselves into a violent verbal fight which I won gloriously, eventually" Luke concludes proudly. Now he recalls every detail of the goddamn day when he started to hate Michael Clifford.

"Wait, you've clearly pointed out the fact that the day you are recalling is your first argument. What does it mean? What haven't we been informed of?" Calum asks suspiciously. He's trying to put two and two together, yet he can't come up with anything decent.  
Ashton's just as confused.

"We, uh... God, we were friends once upon a time, in middle school. Not best friends, because I didn't want to label the friends I had, but we were very very close anyway. He didn't use to hate my guts so hard back then. But everything changed during high school. There was a time when we gradually stop talking and sharing things. I guessed it was a phase. Turned out it was not. We ended up broken and unsolved, as I told you" Luke confesses sadly, nervously drumming his fingers on the table to the rhythm of an irregular four.

"That explains everything" Calum says surprised, his mind finally drawing up logic conclusions.

"Yeah, it does. Sounds like you're going to get a boyfriend very soon as well" Ashton jokes, challenging Luke. He simply knows how it's gonna go.

Luke throws an angry, black death stare at the curly head. "Calum, sweet child of mine, just do me a favour and shove your dick into Ashton's throat so he'll stop saying bullshit for good. Or else I'll strangle him directly till he meets God in person" he retorts, involving Calum who was calmly downing his glass of Baileys.

"Believe me, Luke, I'd prefer to take care of and satisfy my boyfriend's needs in this right moment and leave you here like the idiot you, indeed, are. Too bad we're stuck in this conversation because Michael has been harassing the hell out of you unreasonably for years!" Calum deadpans with a frown.

"He's a mean bastard and can't change who he is. He's just too stupid to get the world doesn't revolve around him. He's so selfish he only cares for himself. The day he will remain alone like a homeless dog I swear he will swallow his pride and-"

"Luke, we know you better than yourself. You'd never ever wish something like that for, like, anyone. Not even your own enemy, which you claim to despise so passionately. It's just a matter of time" Calum cuts his best friend off, earning a bright, conspiratorial smile from Ashton. He seems to look through him without emotionally violating him.

"A matter of time what? You say so. Truth to be told, Clifford and I are never, ever in a million years going to talk to each other in a civil manner, least of all be the friends we've been again. Such a shitty absurdity" Luke huffs frustrated, a tiny little hint of disappointment seeping through his voice nonetheless.

"I speak the truth, dear friend. Always do. You're gonna thank me, us, one day" Calum concludes while standing up and stretching his arms into the air, making his shoulder bones creak weakly.

After doing so he offers his right hand to take to Ashton, in his brown eyes a glint that screams 'sex' ready to sparkle. Luke catches it in a very brief moment. Before they can head to Calum's bedroom and happily frickle frackle, Luke quickly stands up as well and takes some steps back.

"Don't you even dare. If you dare, I'm leaving right now" Luke threatens seriously. He's tired of going to the library and wait for the two to get done with their sexual intercourses in order to come home again. Can't they go anywhere else? Ashton's maybe?

"The door's that way. Don't be late tonight, we're going pubbing at ten! Have fun at the library and don't meet we know who" Ashton points at the door behind Luke with his too long index finger, grinning widely as ever.

"Seriously? Still giving advice? I know how it works. Hating you never seems to be enough" Luke eye-rolls and sighs heavily.

He grabs his coat that was abandoned on the sofa, pulls it on and goes fetch his half-finished scifi book he bought a long time ago, placing it carefully in his bag. Library's no fun. Luke likes it because it's a peaceful place where silence reigns and nobody talks or chats and stuff. But it's no fun at all. It's not like experiencing anything new in the end. You can just save some time up for yourself and spend it inner talking for peace of mind.

Luke rolls the keys around his thumb, eventually letting them fall in the left pocket of the coat with a soft thud. He would have gladly listened to some music to avoid hearing Ash and Calum's noises, but the last time he had tried to Luke was still able to make out swears and dirty talk between the two anyway. Quite bound to leave the house and get elsewhere to distract himself.

Luke doesn't say goodbye to them when he gets out of his shared flat. They honestly don't deserve it. God knows what they're going to do in Calum's bedroom. He's absolutely certain that Mrs. Tennant, the eighty years old neighbour living in the opposite flat on the same floor as them, will have the two accused of creating a public nuisance with a high fine to pay. He shakes his head, taking those inappropriate thoughts off his mind and makes his way to the library hoping to find silence.

 

****

 

Luke enters the library without making noises, takes off his dark blue, almost new coat and hangs it on the coat rack in the corner. He wanders for a bit with his book in hand, willing to get the most isolated spot in the wide room, where people can't disturb him. He usually sits down near the furthest window from the entry, so he heads towards the very back of the library hoping to find his usual spot free.

When Luke turns around the corner of the high shelves his eyes meet Michael. He's reading a book, fully immersed in it, his lips forming a thin line in a weak smile whenever he feels a spiritual connection with the words of the author. He laughs a little from time to time, but he's not loud at all. His laughter is light as a feather and it's a pleasure to hear it.

Luke decides it's not time nor place to have another of their fights so he turns around and starts retreating. He'll find another spot somewhere else. He gets frozen when a very low voice calls him out.

"You here? What a nice coincidence. I didn't think you were a library person" Michael mocks him out of irony in a whisper, and even when he's supposed to do something intelligent and remarkable, well, he fails.

"Sure as hell you're not. Are you stalking me? I bet you can't wait to see me because you miss me" Luke replies back just as low. Damn, he came in here to read in peace but fate's not happy about that. School was not enough, obviously. Let's make it harder to bear for Luke.

"I'm only making your dreams come true. We're hidden right here and since you are who you are, you are completely free of-"

"Fuck the hell off. I'm not a whore, you jerk. I can't figure out why you keep saying I am, but I'm tired of you and your shit. Get yourself a real life and leave me alone" Luke says a bit louder than before, gritting his teeth like a raging dog. If the librarian comes for them because of the noises, he'll flip her off without hesitation, too. He can't even go home because his friends are having the best time of their lives. He's stuck with Clifford in the library instead.

"Would you shut up for once? I've known you for years and you still haven't learnt to shut that pretty little mouth of yours" Michael lets out frustrated, keeping his voice at an acceptable volume while rolling his eyes. In the meanwhile he has stood up and got closer to Luke, invading his personal space.

"Who do you think you are, that big mouth of yours, always giving orders here, there and everywhere? You're not allowed to, I'm not your butler. So, so ridic-"

Luke shuts his mouth eventually, letting his book fall with a heavy thud from his hand on the carpeted floor. He closes his eyes carefully after blinking repeatedly a couple of times. He doesn't hold Michael back, clearly, not he pulls away from him in disgust as their molded lips start moving together. Luke feels Michael's hands placed on either sides of his hips and contrary to all his beliefs, the hate slowly fading away and almost never been there in the first place, let them linger where they are, soft and tender.

The blond relaxes his rigid body and leans back against a shelf, paying attention not to make books fall. He likes being kissed, it's one of his favourite activities. Michael follows suit, bringing his chest even closer to Luke's and resting his hands sweetly on his low back. Their breaths are awfully regular, which means that none of them are nervous about kissing their enemy. That everything is fine, basically. There's a part at the back of Luke's mind that shouts at him to fucking stop whatever he's doing because it's so damn wrong. The other part evilly assures him that he can take it slow and get the best out of the kiss, since Luke hasn't kissed in forever. He also misses a male body on his.

Michael hums appreciatively every now and then, his whole body now attached to Luke. He feels like his lips could go on fire any time soon, yet he doesn't seem satisfied with what he's getting from Luke. Hard to admit, he wants more; he slides his tongue into his enemy's mouth, meeting Luke's halfway. It feels so good, undoubtedly and undeniably right to kiss the guy who hates his guts just because Michael started it first. Luke's lips looks so soft and kissable. As he's on the verge of pushing his leg smartly in between Luke's they hear footsteps coming towards them, though they keep on making out for a couple of seconds longer, shushing the oncoming danger out of their minds.

They separate at the same time, coming up for air. Luke lets his head rest back on the bookshelf while Michael gets his mouth close to Luke's ears, panting softly. They don't look at each other right in the eye, being too embarrassed if they only dare think about the awkward moment they've shared.

"You were being too loud. You should know well we have to be quiet in here. And the kiss, you can take it as a bonus I've gently given you. Just saying" Michael whispers seductively and then pulls away, putting some space between their bodies again. He doesn't look minimally affected by the accident, if a kiss can be addressed as an accident equal to a car crash.

He steps back, sits down again and picks up where he left off with his book as if nothing ever happened. He doesn't look up, letting Luke do whatever he wants. World war three might break out in a library of a unknown town situated in the middle of nowhere in America and a kiss would be the cause of it. How ironic.

It's all Luke needs to open his eyes again, become aware of what the hell just happened, reach down to grab his book and leave that place as soon as possible. He stares at Michael incredulously, deeply tempted to cross the few inches that divide them and pick on him, though nothing comes out of his mouth except a strangled sigh.

Luke's utterly confused by Michael's actions. What's more, his weird behaviour is getting scary and Luke's getting worried. He wants to have nothing to deal with him, let alone such an intimate thing like a kiss. Luke's brain had to be whipped while kissing his enemy.

Since the answers to his questions are nowhere to be found, he tightens his grip on the book and storms off, only stopping to pull his coat on and get some time to process the sin. He turns around to check if Michael kind of followed him; he lets out a sigh of relief when he sees that no one's in sight except the middle-aged librarian, who got back from her cheking to her position in the meanwhile. He spots the door not really far from him and leaves the place which had to make him relax with the taste of Michael's lips on his own and a more than confused mind. 

He misses the hurt, disappointed expression that Michael, hidden by the shelves and making sure of not being caught up, was wearing on his face while observing Luke throughout all of his departure.

No need to say Luke categorically refused to go out with his best friends that evening.

 

****

 

Christmas day is at the door, so Luke decides to go shopping downtown and buy presents for Calum and Ashton. He hasn't planned on spending a whole afternoon getting in and out of shops like a maniac, but Luke doesn't feel like buying the same old shitty stuff for his friends, too determined to find the perfect presents and wrap them personally in colourful, expensive decorative gift paper.

The city centre, streets and buildings are decorated with bright and shiny illuminations, red ribbons and the huge Christmas tree in the main square. Everyone is happier and more optimist than usual; Luke suddenly notices all the small particulars that he doesn't during the rest of the year. Lovebirds are holding hands and smiling at each other more frequently, families go shopping all together, kids are overexcited and everything in general seems to go for the best.

Except he's not. He feels kind of troubled and dejected, a desperate castaway being drowned by a rainstorm. He doesn't have a home where he can go back and share memories, a family to keep in touch with, someone to write 'happy Xmas' and 'happy new year' to who aren't Calum, Ashton and some old acquaintances he hasn't talked with properly in ages. He's got a family, of course, but they disappointed him when he came out of the closet, saying that he was a burden and didn't want him around them. They only pay the rent of the flat, bills, university taxes and credit card so he doesn't need to get back home. They're the source of his economic wealth and Luke's okay with that because if his family don't love him, he'll keep on living his life and find love elsewhere. He doesn't need them after all. He feels alone, but Luke won't admit it because he's too proud. If he thinks he always wishes that Michael ended up like this, he feels terribly guilty.

At a point, a light blue neon sign catches his attention; it must be a very fancy shop where they sell very fancy clothes. He's got a good amount of money to spend for Christmas presents with him anyway, so he enters the clothes shop on the corner of St. Alexander Street and starts to make his way through people and over the jumper and hoodie section. He unfolds and folds plenty of them, finally bumping into a pretty matching set of red and white jumpers with reindeers and mistletoe in narrow stripes. He can already picture the two lovebirds wearing them while exchanging dirty PDAs on the sofa at his. They'd be so cute and lovely dressed in those. Luke heads to the cash desks and pays the jumpers by credit card, getting out of the shop with nothing for himself. He's never been self centred and fancy clothed; he likes simple things, made by heart.

The cold hits his cheeks turning them red, but it's not a flaming red like the one they turn into when Michael's pissing the hell out of him. This red is more of a rosey one, fresh and delicate on his skin. Almost painting-like. A water drop meets the edge Luke's little nose, though it's not raining. Luke looks up while a thick load of icy, white dots start falling from the sky, making it dark grey instead of deep blue. Then it clicks in Luke's mind; it's snowing. Luke hadn't seen snow for five years. Even if his neck hurts from being bent too much in order to look above, Luke stays on his spot and keeps watching the show, unconcerned by the people coming and going restlessly around him.

"Have you got some form of illness that gets you ridiculously paralysed every time it snows?" a far voice snaps out of nowhere. Luke can't believe it. Even on Christmas Eve. He doesn't feel like this is going to end well.

"God, give me the strenght to avoid jail before tomorrow" he murmurs quietly to himself before fully turning around and sighing heavily. Of course it had to be him.

"We don't bring back the past, Michael. Ever. We both decided and agreed to never bring back shared memories. And why do I have to bump into you even on Christmas Eve? Why aren't you home like anybody else? Why is it always you? Why did you fucking kiss me at the library?" Luke pesters him with a series of questions. He stops himself from continuing, having subconsciously brought up the topic, even though he wants to ask more.

Michael stares at him almost fondly, like three years never rolled in and they never began hating each other in the first place. Air is getting cooler and heavier as the clock is tortuously ticking, fresh snow is covering the streets and any other smooth surfaces. The world seems to stop spinning for a second.

"I came out looking for you, as weird as it sounds. This place is quite big, but I don't care. You forgot, didn't you?"

Luke stares at him wide eyed. "I can forget anything at anytime. You have to be more specific" he answers flatly. They look like a ship without compass, clueless about where they're sailing off.

"My grandad died in a fiery plane crash on Christmas Eve. You know how much he meant to me, how much I miss his presence around me. And then my grandma passed away, too, a couple of months later because the pain in her old heart was too great, couldn't move on through the autumn of his life without grandad. My parents split up officially and I've been left broken. You forgot all of this?" Michael stutters in between the tears, his bottom lip quivering as a leaf. He's never seemed so neglected and exhausted before. Of course Luke had been a witness to Michael's crying in the past; he just tried to bury that painful scene away from his heart forever, since he's not friends with Michael anymore.

Luke remembers the day when Michael called him up at ten pm to tell him his grandad was gone. It was the worst Christmas of their lives, but they spent it together at least. They kept each other sweet company in a very gloomy moment. They did so on every following Christmas until three years ago. How could Luke not remember?

"Forget the day you cried all night long? The day you were shattered into pieces and I was there, picking them all up? You know well I could never forget. I'm not a monster. But I'm not your friend anymore. I really can't help you through this. You just...just have to find somebody else who dries your tears and keeps you safe, someone who's better than me. Someone who won't leave you. I stopped being friends with you when you first declared war on me without a reason, apparently. Still can't understand. I'm no more qualified for being your friend. You...just go home, ok? Before the snow turns into something wore" Luke answers with a trembling voice, having being answered only one of his questions for Michael. He just wants to know why, why Michael hates him so much.

The red headed guy stays teary-eyed and frozen on his spot as if his feet were deeply-rooted in the ground. He looks so small and defenceless Luke wants to hug and protect him like he never did before, though he lost that possibility a long time ago.

"It's not easy, it's complicated as fuck. You wouldn't understand, wouldn't accept that. You didn't even accept it years ago!" Michael cries out loud, making some passers-by slowly stop and turn around to watch what's happening.

"Don't make a scene here, people are watching" Luke retorts through gritted teeth, checking out if also little children are observing them. He's not an attention seeker and won't ever be. However, when Michael's around the two can't help not going unnoticed by everyone.

"I don't even know what you're talk-"

"I could care less about them! I never cared about people's stupid, snarky opinions! I only care about us!" Michael kind of confesses, not realising it's too late to get back his truthful words. They way that 'us' is pronounced doesn't sound plain to Luke's ears. It implies so much more than a simple me and you. There's a meaningful, important shade hidden underneath it. Luke gapes at Michael, finally putting all the pieces together.

He told Luke he cares about him, not even gently as Michael was supposed to do. As he planned to do for days. Tables are turned. Michael's cheeks turn a shade of pink shamefully all at once. It's not because of the wintery cold. Luke stands speechless in front of him. How couldn't he see it before? Why has he been so blind?

Okay, things are getting very weird. Nothing's making sense in Luke's mind. He only knows he must leave, leave Michael and go home where Ashton and Calum are waiting for him. He bought presents, still has to wrap them up and write down brief, sappy Xmas notes to be read in the morning. He wishes he could forget and be totally clueless, oblivious about Michael's feelings for him. But Luke's sober right now and to get the best confessions out of his chest, those confessions must be made in a overly drunken state Luke will never experience, since his stomach abhors too much alcohol in one night.

"I'm sorry..." Luke hardly breaths. It's the first sentence that's not a chain of insults directed at Michael since they argued. He's got nothing left to say anyway; Michael's sudden words caught him totally unprepared. He could have done so much more to avoid this ugly situation. He should have tried talking to Michael before they came to this, before everything crumbled to their knees. Luke looks at Michael for the last time, uncertain whether to go there and hug him or go away. He goes for the latter. He knows it's Christmas time, but it doesn't mean he must act like a better person, because he's not a better person at all. He feels the same, a bit more guilty and brokenhearted and conscious, even though the awareness of an irreversible change in his life has begun to creep in his heart.

Luke takes some couples of steps back and slowly closes his eyes, turning his heels with presents in hand and making his way back home. He's not brave enough to look back. Guiltiness is stronger somewhere down his throat, fighting Luke to let out his hot tears. He doesn't give up, walking away way faster than he's used to.

Michael watches him go away from him helplessly. Snow is heavier and colder, though Michael doesn't mind at all; he loves watching snow falling, standing under it when it falls and feeling the icy sensation on his skin. He loves watching Luke watching the snow from afar the most, also. He won't ever admit that, given the supposed hate he should feel for him.

Luke's already too far when Michael swings weakly on his feet and duck his head to the snowy ground, completely disappointed. The way his heart beats shakes him in the bones, a strange tingling sensation building up in his chest. Then he looks around, some people being still there with clueless expressions on their faces. He flips them all off with a haughty "fuck", annoyed by the inappropriate looks he's being given.

"Even if I begged you to stay, you'd leave me" Michael murmurs, sliding his cold hands in the pockets of his coat. Luke's gone by now.

Michael storms off he doesn't even know where (too angry to decently think straight), almost cursing himself for being so stupid and allowing those wrong words to slip out of his mouth. Sobriety won't help him to solve his problems at all, so he quickly decides to drink the day away at the nearest pub, spending a lot money in alcohol and forget, surrounded by strangers who'll try to flirt with him, that Luke is all he ever wanted but will never feel the damn same for him.

 

****

 

Luke closes the main door of the flat as the clock strikes half past seven. He gets rid of the coat. It's been a tiring afternoon, its ending even more tiring. The way things turned out wasn't as Luke expected them to be. He lays on his back down the sofa, willing to recollect a million thoughts of the previous afternoon and reorder them logically.

Michael feels something for him. He clearly said 'care about us'. There's never been a 'us' between Michael and Luke, never been a care. Maybe they existed once upon a time, but that time has gone. Things have changed. Luke's met Calum and Ashton, two lovely and shameless lovebirds, who helped him through the move in a new city and all. Michael's met a bunch of people as well, Luke supposes, though the old sparkle in Michael's eyes Luke used to see seems to be long forgotten. He catches glimpses of anger, bitterness and resentment everytime he sees Michael.

But he saw desperation, helplessness and sadness in Michael's eyes that evening. The facade he had put up just crumbled, leaving Michael bare. Luke made it break. Memories made it break. Everything that wasn't good destroyed his enemy. The thought that he himself could have been a valid help for Michael crashes Luke down, making him weak at the knees.

"He hates me because I didn't see he was falling. I've had several boyfriends then. None of them were the right one. He watched me dating so many guys... We were both alone for different reasons and I-" Luke thinks out loud, but he's abruptly cut off by Calum, standing by the kitchen, who's overheard anything Luke said. A sweet smell of cookies is pervading the hall.

"So, it is what it is, innit?" Calum questions with a sad smile, knowing Luke isn't in a mood for joking.

"Oh, Calum, I thought you were hanging out with Ashton. Didn't hear you."

"Not on Christmas Eve morning and afternoon. We're going to a pub in town tonight anyway. I'm sure we'd be happy if you came with us and got Michael out of your mind. He's driving you insane" Calum sighs while taking a seat on the small sofa besides the bigger one Luke's occupying, plopping his ass down on it just as liberating.

"I met him at half past six today while I was shopping. It was... Don't think I have to explain, right? You heard me pretty clearly" Luke sighs as well, bringing his arms underneah his head, making himself more comfortable. It still feels incredible.

"I'm usually interested in details when people tell me stories. But in this case it's right you keep them to yourself. I knew that Michael was somehow important in your life, even as your enemy. It's cool it happened on Christmas Eve! It maybe a prediction of something bigger and more relevant involving you and him" the raven head explains happily, distracted by the continuous beeps of his phone.

"I saw him completely crumble down. I should have felt content and proud and self-satisfied because I had won once again, once for all... I felt extremely miserable. He was on the verge of tears due to his feelings. Honestly, nobody deserves to be rejected romantically" the blonde lets out. This time it's his own words that don't sound right. Too late to take them back.

"Luke, it's not a war what you're living. You sure you don't reciprocate?" Calum asks, smirking widely.

Luke stares emptly at him slightly open mouthed. He's very bad at reciprocating feelings. PDAs and feelings have never been Luke's forte, again. Maybe the guys he had dated were all right for him. Maybe he was wrong for them.

"What the hell! Of course I do! No, of course I don't. W-wait, what was the q-question about? You are confusing me" Luke whines, gone full panic. He can't even articulate properly.

"You are confusing yourself because you are simply confused yourself. And you audibly stuttering in a moment like this is exactly what I needed, my dear Lukey. Two hours and a half to make up your mind, to fix what you have to fix, broken or not. You're coming with us tonight, hoping you'll meet we know who" Calum declares victoriously. He almost feels happier than Luke.

"How fun tables have turned. I am ridiculous, am I not?" Luke panics, throwing his head into his hands and hiding his embarrassment away.

"You are" Calum agrees together with a positive nod while fervently texting Ashton back.

"Ashton will keep on making fun of me for days on end. You're not going to tell him, are you?" Luke asks, warmly muffling his voice.

"Already did, dear. He was right from the start and you didn't even give him credit for it. How disrespectful of you" Calum quietly grins between soft laughter, but stands up before he thinks he's pushed it too far.

"Such a shitty friend you are. I hate you" Luke mumbles. He doesn't even mean the words truthfully, it's just a habit.

"You never truly hated Michael, which you claimed to be your best worst enemy, let alone the beauty of a friendship I am!" Calum replies wittily. He gets the farthest away from Luke for the fear of being hit or shot somehow in the meanwhile, mobile in hand.

"You should leave me alone for the sake of your bones" Luke mock threatens him. He gets up from the sofa and starts heading to his bedroom. He really wants some time for himself.

"You'll thank us one day! We're leaving at half past ten, and since you know we are alternative people who like to have the biggest fun on holidays, this Christmas will be the best one of our lives, yours included! Tonight you won't just have fun, but you'll conquer what's left unconquered" Calum shouts back warrior-like before the two of them close the door of their rooms.

"Shut up" Luke locks the door, his hand still gripping the key in the hole, and subconsciously smiles like the idiot he is, as Calum reminded him.

 

****

 

The music inside the pub they got in is so loud Luke can't even hear himself thinking properly. The pub is full of flirting, drinking, dancing people to the hammering dull rhythm of a techno house song who decided to waste themselves on Christmas night with other people they don't know pretty anything about. The strong smell of smoke and alcohol tickles Luke's nostrils, making him sniff reluctantly. There's not enough room to walk straight forward to the bar so Luke sways left and right a couple of times, losing Calum and Ashton in the meanwhile and meeting sweaty bodies and smelling absolutely nauseating alcoholic breaths on his way.

On the contrary he's freshly come out of shower, he's wearing a very sweet cologne (you wouldn't say) and last but not least, he's still sober. Like, every damn neuron of his brain works as perfectly as it's supposed to. Luke can't accept the fact his sobriety is blocking him out at all. He won't be able to get a little bit wasted, at least, and do shit and say bullshit at the same time if he doesn't drink anything right now. He's aware his stomach will make him pay for it with blood in the morning, Christmas morning more precisely, but he doesn't care. His brain and mind need to be closed for holidays as well. He catches the two lovebirds sitting at the bar, screaming 'cheers' and smiling with tequilas hung up over their heads, happiness visibly clear and tangible between them.

Luke starts making his way towards them when a mail voice calls him out. It's a miracle the blonde can hear it, since the dj seems to have turned up the volume of the basses even more than before. He looks around frantically, but no known face is recognisable. Suddenly a tall, short black haired and grey eyed guy gets gradually closer to Luke and stopping right in front of him when they're close enough to each other.

"Do I know you?" Luke shouts politely into the left ear of the stranger, who leans in to make Luke talk easier.

"You probably don't know me, but I know you. I'm Dave from Phisics course. We are in the same class" this Dave guy explains as loud.

Completely caught off guard. Luke has to admit Dave is literally stunning. Grey eyes are rare, nobody Luke'd ever met had eyes that coloured. He wonders how he didn't notice this handsome guy in his own class before. He must be blind.

"I'm sorry if I didn't recognise you at first. I see so many people at uni, it's hard for me to remember faces" Luke comes up with a lie. He remembers almost everyone's faces, he just erases the ones he's not interested in from sight. And probably Luke was not interested in Dave from the start.

"Too bad, though I remembered yours right? And your name, too. I saw you approaching the bar so I thought you'd like to be offered a shot? A drink? Whatever you like, no big deal" Dave proposes gently.

Well, Luke sees that Calum and Ashton are too lost in each other's throat out of the corner of his eye to care about him anyway, so he thinks through Dave's polite offer. Guys who attend Physics courses shouldn't be murders or rapers or sexual maniacs, so he shrugs and goes yes. This guy is worth more than a shot.

They head towards the bar, take a seat and call one of the already busy barmen with a gesture. Music turned down a notch, moving from techno to 90's happy disco dance and waking people up. Sense of time couldn't exist right now.

"What can I bring you guys?" the barman asks.

"A long island and..." Dave trails uncertainly. Of course he's clueless about Luke's tastes in drinks.

"A mojito is fine" Luke completes the sentence.

"And mojito for the blondie here" Dave refers to the barman, who then turns around and starts preparing what they ordered.

Luke's unsure whether to drink his mojito all the way up in one sip and stop dwelling on Michael for good, or actually enjoy the time he's spending with Dave and the taste of limon and mint on his tongue, feeling the little ice cubes of his drink melting slowly in his mouth. He waits patiently for the barman to come back, not speaking a word or looking at the guy in the meanwhile.

A minute rolls on in silence, until Dave takes the full glasses from the barman's fingers and hands Luke his mojito.

"Hey, just play it cool. I don't bark" Dave tries to lighten the mood, taking a sip of his long island. "You've been quiet all the time."

"Yeah, uhm, I'm sorry. I shouldn't even be here. My friends dragged me over and then magically disappeared" Luke laughs unnaturally. Why the hell is he there, he wonders.

"But you are. So there's to be a reason behind that, I suppose" Dave murmurs.

"Indeed. I don't really wanna talk about him though" Luke confesses. He realises that 'him' just after he's let it out. The only chance of making conversation with someone has gone forever and Luke curses himself for being so stupid and careless.

"Whoever he is, he's a fool. I'd never let a very nice guy like you go away" Dave flirts cheekily. Luke blushes visibly, voice going dry in his throat. He drinks a bit of his mojito, trying to regain the ability of speaking.

"Uh, thank you. Why have I never noticed you before? It's months uni has started" Luke questions simply.

Dave keeps on sipping every once in a while from his glass. "Physics is the only course we have in common, apparently. It's not just Physics I'm talking about anyway" he answers, though Luke can't pin-point anything else.

"What's more?"

"I catch you and Clifford bitching around almost always. The way you hold his stare is absolutely amazing. You two are quite famous in the environment. I really look up to you" Daves smiles through a long sip with closed lip, slightly shining from wetness.

Luke smiles weakly at him, rolling his eyes inside. Everything seems to come back to Michael and he can't stand it anymore. He had enough.

"So do you wanna dance? This dj's music doesn't sound too bad. Could be better anyways" Luke comments cutting off the topic, and all he needs to have is a nod of approval from Dave. The blond thanks God in his mind because Dave didn't ask any further about the other mysterious guy he mentioned.

"Let's get done with our drinks. We can go wild on the dancefloor then as much as we like" he concludes with another 'cheers' before downing the contents of his glass. Luke follows suit, swallowing it all in a gulp and sucking on the ice cubes.

They put a lot of effort into making their way through a sweaty crowd of drunk and dizzy people, half-naked chicks and visibly turned on boys. The atmosphere got heavier and more unbearable, Calum and Ashton have disappeared. Alcohol is having its effects on Luke's physical and mental capacities, making him go wobbly and weak every step he takes and just God knows how the night is going to end if he doesn't pull himself together soon, where he'll wake up in the morning.

Luke's movements are extremely clumsy and uncoordinated, thanks both to alcohol and the fact that he's not the best dancer in the world. He just follows the rhythm of songs and goes with the flow. Dave is dancing excitedly in front of him anyway, getting closer and closer by the second, so Luke can't help but do the same and wrapping his arms around the guy's neck.

It feels so damn wrong at the back of Luke's mind. It feels awkward and unfamiliar, the way his body get tense and every fiber of it just can't relax at Dave's steady and firm touch, that's not somebody else's touch at all. Something is missing but he doesn't know what exactly. Luke shivers at the thought, dizziness making him close his eyes helplessly.

When everything is about to go blank and black, a strong grip circles Luke's upper arm and he's violently yanked away from Dave, startled up and confused. He opens his eyes up carefully, though it's just a merely blurry sight of shapes and mixed colours.

"What the hell are you fucking doing? You don't get to touch him as easy!" a male voice yells over the loud music. Dave regains stability and walks forward the voice.

"I could ask the same question. I didn't expect it by someone like you" Dave snaps back grinning at the other guy. Luke's still two metres away, trying to focus on the scene even though his eyes just burn. Low lights don't help him see at all.

"Consider yourself lucky I'm not drunk enough to get into a fight with you, freak!" the stranger shouts, taking Luke's wrist and dragging him away from Dave and a surprised crowd.

Luke risks tripping over and over nothing multiple times in the meanwhile; all he sees is a flow full of colours and a red head before him. The two get outside in a matter of seconds and fresh, cold air never seemed such a powerful relief to Luke's nostrils. He looks around blinking slowly, then he's made backtrack till a wall meets his back.

Details of things and people begin to get clearer and more defined. Lamps are enlightening the streets around them. The shades of colour Luke catches first are red and green. They are a beautiful match to Luke's memories right now.

"Of course it had to be you" Luke slurs with effort. Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

"Of course it had to be me. It's always me, the ruin of your life. Flesh and bone" Michael replies ironically, looking at him right in the eye. His hands are placed both on Luke's shoulders, nor gripping nor tightening.

Luke watches him expectantly. He can take in Michael's face features very well now that all the lights are on. "You're not a ruin. You're just plain stupid because you had to tell me before" he mutters quietly, unsure about whether Michael could hear him or not. Nothing's going how it was supposed to.

"Tell you what exactly? That I fell for you, when you had plenty of guys at your mercy? You were kinda busy, Luke, dating all of them! I couldn't hate you and love you at the same time so I went crazy and chose. I chose wrong. You're so friendly and nice to anyone while I am the black sheep. I'm the bad and you're the good. You the light, I the dark" Michael lets out between soft hiccups. A flow of raw emotions take over him so easily Luke is struck.

"Why are you here?"

"You and your friends decided to spend Christmas night in that pub. Call it good luck" Michael stares at the ground. Luke's questions are quickly turning him vulnerable.

"How long have you?"

"A couple of hours. Too heartbroken to get home safe and sound."

"Noooo - Luke whines loudly - How long have you?"

Michael looks up and meets Luke's dull blue eyes. And it clicks. Luke wants to know for how long love's been there.

"Loved you since that night. Highly pathetic and chick flick-y, yet the only truth. It's-"

"All I need to know to make you shut up" Luke cuts him off before throwing himself into Michael's chest. It's definitely the most wonderful feeling he ever had the privilege to feel. He never thought he would have been able to hug his enemy so tightly. Never in a million years. Fuck plans and rules.

Michael slides a little bit away from Luke, still holding him though, and leans in, kissing him for the second time in two weeks. The contact between their lips is electrifying. Luke's never been this alive before Michael lighted up his fire that much. That's how they ended up here. Michael breaks the kiss reluctantly, cupping Luke's red cheeks softly and caressing them with his thumbs.

"We're freezing outside. We should get back-"

"Home, we should get back home" Luke says out of nowhere. He really means it anyway. He's sobered up completely, meaning his words are being spoken truthfully and voluntarily.

"Wh-what about your friends?" Michael asks confused.

"They've got a copy of the keys. Besides, they kind of abandoned me in there. And I want to go home" Luke complains convinced. Michael grins, sniggering.

"As you wish, Luke" Michael agrees happily.

 

****

 

The main door isn't even closed completely, locked and all, when Michael and Luke attack each other's neck. Their lips are so angry and hungry that the line separating them isn't well defined. Off coats and shoes first, off jeans and shirts second. Socks follow suit at the end of the trail of clothes they left from the hall to Luke's bedroom. They're so caught up in each other's presence they don't notice a light was left on all night long. As soom as they enter frantically Luke's dim moonlit room they quickly turn into a shapeless mess of limbs and laboured breaths. Both of them are tense and keep on shivering because of the cold air hitting on their warm skins.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" Luke repeats again in form of a question between angry pecks. His hands are wandering over all of Michael's back, touching every inch of it. He gently pushes Michael against the wall full of posters behind him. This unanswered questions still makes him feel uncomfortably nervous.

"Can we discuss about it tomorrow? I'd be kind of busy right now" Michael grumbles, kissing Luke's right shoulder repeatedly and inhaling his sweet smell. He's being driven insane by all the thoughts about what if-s and never ever-s. Luke looks unreal and Michael can't believe that he's all him right now, caressing him and taking care of him. Loving him as no one else will ever do.

Luke stops Michael from going any further with his mouth, blocking his arms and putting a little distance between their chests.

"It's not been easy, has it? Keeping it all inside without the possibility of letting it out loud. You helplessly watched me dating plenty of people who didn't deserve my time while you did. You were broken and so was I. Why we didn't find each other again instead of feeling hate remains a mystery" Luke explains.

"I can't look at you if I don't know for sure you're alright now. Tell me you are fine with me feeling the same, even if it's too late to say I'm sorry" he concludes sadly. The fear of losing Michael for the second time haunts him in the deep. It's a dangerous risk he doesn't want to run.

"You already said that when we met at the shop downtown. I'm fine, okay? Nothing's going hurt me. I won't let anything hurt me, not even myself. I-I love you. I've loved you for years and I won't stop now that I've found you again" Michael confesses before kissing Luke deeply, tangling his fingers into Luke's hair.

Michael loves him. Luke can't do anything but kiss him back as deeply, knowing he can't say those words yet. He realised he likes Michael just a couple of hours before that day, it'd be pointless saying it without really feeling it.

"Fair enough" Luke hums while leaving a trail of kisses along Michael's jawline and collarbone. His hand slowly goes down, reaching the hem of Michael's boxer and playing with it.

"L-luke, I want you. Let me be yours at least for a night" Michael begs, his shaft growing hard and painful. He's so extremely turned on his whole body's on fire.

"You'll be mine whenever you want, babe" Luke assures him, still kissing him everywhere.

Michael wraps his arms around Luke's torso, pushing him backwards towards the double bed. They slowly climb onto it, both getting rid of boxers in the meantime. Michael gets closer to Luke, who smirks at him so devilishly he suddenly remembers all the times Luke used to mock him when bitching at school.

"Are you gonna make me pay for all the bad words I've thrown at you in years?" Michael asks seductively, waiting for Luke to reply wittily.

"I've made mistakes, too. Your debt will be settled as long as you enjoy what we're going to do. Tell me and I stop" Luke answers politely. He really wants Michael to feel at ease when he's with him. Now that this hatred is forgotten, Luke feels like he can move on and start again with Michael. A fresh new start.

"Okay" Michael agrees, climbing on top of him and tightening Luke's sides in his legs.

He resumes his previous activity, attaching his lips to Luke's fiercely. He's so hungry for everything Luke can give him that wasting time is not an available option. Luke kisses back, probably even more involved than Michael, pulling the red head even more into his chest. Then Luke rolls them over, making Michael lay naked and pliant underneath him. He keeps on leaving small pecks and quick licks all over Michael's upper chest while slowly grinding against him. Only he knows how much he longs to be entirely embraced by Michael and have anything of Michael. He's been so stupid all these years long. His train of thought is interrupted by a low begging.

"Hurry up, Luke. I think I'm going to explode if you don't do anything. My dick is sore throbbing" Michael begs, and Luke thinks that Michael begging is his new favourite version of the guy. He looks down and, indeed, Luke can verify the truthfulness of Michael's statements, noticing how Michael's cock is red at the tip and swollen and dripping precome.

"You're so impatient, aren't you? I really love the effects I have on you" Luke whispers into Michael's ear, making him shiver and cheeks turning rosey from embarassment.

"Shut up and fuck me already" Michael growls under his breath, and being honest, how can Luke disobey to his polite request?

"Your wish is my command" he complies, kissing him harshly and biting his bottom lip before reaching down to Michael's hole and circling it with his index.

Michael shudders at the slight pressure, clinging onto Luke like no tomorrow. His brain is completely fucked up, gone out of whack; he can't focus on anything but Luke being all over his body, slightly sweaty and skin warm and the feeling of being protected never felt more real. He arches his back up a little bit, meeting Luke's finger halfway. He definitely craves for more from the blondie.

"More. I can take more" Michael moans. Luke's so good to him, the way his finger works him inside is just marvellous and Michael wants more of it. More pleasure. More Luke.

Luke obeys willingly, inserting another finger inside and working Michael's inner ring of muscles very fast. It's tight and hot and seeing how Michael arches his body from time to time totally wasted, especially when he hits that particular hidden spot repeatedly, turns Luke on to the moon. His own hard dick is rubbing against Michael's inner thigh, deprived of any sort of relief. As Michael begins pushing back against Luke's fingers uncontrollably, Luke prepares his dick for what's going to come jerking himself off for a couple of seconds, seeing Michael is now comfortable with his fingers inside and that he's stretched out enough.

"You ready?" he asks Michael. He already knows the answer, yet he wants to hear himself that Michael wants it, too. He'd feel guilty if something went wrong in a moment like this. He watches him expectantly, blue eyes boring into Michael's green ones.

"Yeah, I am" Michael nods quietly, mouth half-open. His hands go cupping Luke's cheeks automatically, making Luke lean into him even more in a heated kiss. Even though he thought it could never happen, Michael's happy and hopes Luke is too.

"Okay, I need to-"

"No, we can go without it" Michael cuts him off immediately.

Luke's amazed by Michael's blind trust and slightly caught off guard, to be honest. He didn't expect Michael to be so eager and needy. He breaks the kiss slowly to straighten his dick and enter Michael's hole completely. He gives Michael some time to adjust and get used to his presence inside him while peppering kisses all over his neck, sucking a round purple mark right above his collarbone. Michael seems to appreciate Luke's thick member inside him very much, reaching a new whole level of ecstasy, if muffled moans and groans are anything to go by. He tightens his grip on Luke's back, leaving scratches at the base of his shoulders. He starts moving at a slowly pace until his ass won't feel pain anymore, just pleasure and lust.

Luke gets the hint and begins thrusting rhythmically into Michael, arms bent at the elbow to avoid burdening Michael with his own weight. The sight underneath him is stunning: Michael's hair is ruffled and sticking out everywhere, a blissful expression long-plastered on his face, neck veins prominent and thickened and limbs reacting to his harsh thrusts. Luke can't help but compliment him through strangled moans.

"You're so b-beautiful like this" he stutters with effort, his pounding mercilessly into Michael driving his mind elsewhere. His arms are going to give way any time soon due to the effort he's putting into holding his weight all by himself.

"S-so are you. A-All I ever w-wanted" Michael manages to breath, too focused on the fact that Luke's hitting his prostate again and again to string a sentence together. The times he's able to open his eyes for more than three seconds all he sees is Luke's half closed mouth and stretched out muscles.

Luke's arousal increases indefinitely, those words being repeated in his head like a mantra. He speeds up the pace of his thrusts, his testicles slapping on Michael's butt cheeks, till their bodies shapes into one. There's no way it can be told where Michael starts and Luke ends and vice versa. They look like one. A tingling sensation begins to pool at the bottom of Luke's tummy, making him pushing in harder and faster than before.

"I'm close" he barely breaths. Michael's so tight he didn't believe he could resist for so long without coming. He manages to eye down and realizes Michael's dick hadn't been touched or stroked yet.

"Want me to tou-"

"Just another thrust, Luke. Just you" Michael complies, gripping firmly Luke's back with his fingernails.

It's matter of seconds and they both come undone almost at the same time, bodies absolutely sweaty and breathless. Luke pulls out of Michael, collapsing onto him not much later. Michael slowly opens his clouded eyes and takes a quick look of the mess he's made on his low chest, feeling Luke's semen already trickling out of him and wetting the sheets beneath them. He caresses Luke's blonde hair to soon leaving his fingers in it.

"We should shower" he suggests lazily, not taking his eyes off Luke for a second.

"It's, like, one in the morning. Don't wanna get out of bed, it's comfy" Luke whines like a grumpy little kid, his voice muffled by Michael's skin on his lips.

"I am sticky and it's gross. Let me have my shower and then I'm all yours" he complains poking Luke's rib repeatedly and trying to get him off.

"Such a scold you are, even after sex. You were before, too, didn't change at all" Luke replies while getting off Michael and hugging a pillow with arms open wide soon after Michael's got up and headed to the bathroom.

"It's still me after all" he grins devilishly before winking at Luke and closing the door.

As soon as he hears the water running Luke closes his eyes and falls asleep, hoping Michael will be there when he wakes up in the morning on Christmas day.

 

****

 

It's ten o'clock when Luke gets woken up by a hammering knocking on his door. He sleepily glances around, not moving a finger because he's obviously tired, when he notices an arm wrapped around his chest and some strands of red hair freely spread out over his chest. He looks down and sees Michael's still sleeping, surprisingly unaffected by a probable too eager Calum who's got nothing to do except being nosey about his morning businesses. He already knows Calum will open the door and find out, because this is what always happens when Luke's got something to hide from his friends and doesn't want to talk and be talked about yet. So he sighs heavily ready to welcome Calum with a gruff swear, probably.

The door's being open wide and before Calum can notices that there's another guy lying with Luke and buried under the blankets, Ashton's head pops up by the door. He observes the scene he already pictured in his head and smirks, smacking Calum on the chest.

"Why don't you ever believe what I tell you? And don't tell me not to tell you 'I told you so' because that's what I did exactly! That was so obvious! He couldn't be anyone else!" Ashton says proudly and gets closer to his boyfriend.

"I didn't think it would happen on Christmas morning, anyway! It sounds too cliché but look at them, they're so cute and lovely to-"

Luke flips him off with the middle finger and whisper-shouts a feeble "Would you mind leaving us alone? Go the fuck away" at them for the fear of waking Michael up. He hugs the red head more tightly, cuddling him.

"But there are presents under the tree and-"

"Luke clearly doesn't care about Christmas presents right now" Ashton speaks Luke's mind perfectly, taking Calum's hand and yanking him away. The door remains open.

Luke's attention suddenly caught by a long yawn. "It was time" Michael mumbles sleepily, smelling Luke's scent and sniffing a bit.

"Time?" Luke answers confused. He didn't even know Michael was awake till he spoke up.

"Yeah, time they left the room and stopped being curious about us" he yawns deeply again, trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes. It's not even cold as it's supposed to be in the room.

"I'm sorry they didn't let you sleep any longer."

"Oh, don't be sorry, I don't mind at all. It means I have more time to unwrap my presents and celebrate Christmas" Michael replies with a tired smile, leaning up to kiss Luke, even though his lips seem too far to be kissed.

"You-already-leaving?" Luke questions in between the pecks he's sharing with Michael. He holds him properly in his arms and swears solemnly he'll never let go of him, not even to unwrap presents.

Michael watches him with an amused expression and, not being able to keep it anymore, just laughs. "No, you dork, I'm not leaving. You are my Christmas present, Luke. All I ever wanted."

Luke smiles as well, bringing Michael even closer than he's already. If Luke had known things turned out how like they did, Luke would go back in time and never stop being friends with Michael. It's been such a waste of time. And sure as hell hurt doesn't heal in a snap of fingers. Not Michael's, but his.

"At least I can be considered as a useful and well-functioning present. That's all you ever wanted" Luke jokes, nibbling slightly Michael's earlobe.

"Indeed. All I ever wanted."

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry if there are mistakes, even the most banal ones. I haven't proof-read it or beta'd. I'm not English, but I wish I was T.T I don't mind kudos and comments! Thanks for reading, you are lovely and make me happy ♡


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